Welcome to MU Voices

Dorothy Parker once said, "I hate writing. I love having written." For many writers, this is a familiar feeling. Writing is hard. Writing requires time and dedication, and sometimes finding the right words feels like pulling teeth. Writing is hard, but the results that yield from the effort can be pretty spectacular. I only have to look to the winter 2019 issue of MU Voices for proof of this.

In this issue, you will find poems and short stories from our writers on a wide range of topics. Some, including those submitted during our Write Your Heart Out workshop, deal with love. Others grapple with breakups (Angela Maggioncalda) or depression (Rachel Fry). No matter the topic, all the writers who have contributed work to this issue are extremely talented and insightful. I hope you enjoy their work as much as I do.

Thank you for checking out this issue of MU Voices! Special thanks to Marwah Ayache, vice president of Madonna Pen and graduating senior, and Gabrielle Wobrock, a long-time Madonna Pen member and graduating senior. We will miss you both.

-Jillian Law, President of Madonna Pen

Princesses in Peril by Gabrielle Wobrock

The day started off like any other day or the young princess. She ate breakfast with all of her eleven sisters and took her dancing lessons with them in the grand ballroom. Soon after lunch she started noticing dark shadows in the corners of the rose garden and by the time she called Orchid to come, they were gone. When she told Orchid and the rest of her sisters what she had seen, they didn’t believe her. 

Near bedtime, the oldest sister Tulip was looking out towards the garden and saw dark figures moving close to the entrance of the garden. She called to her sisters to come to the window, but by the time they got there the figures had vanished. Tulip asked Daisy to describe what she had seen earlier. Afterwards, Daisy told them that these figures looked like they didn’t belong in this world but a darker one. Tulip said, “I think I believe you now because I just saw the same.” None of the sisters slept well that night and the next morning they all had dark circles under their eyes but wouldn’t tell their father what was wrong. After finishing their dancing lessons they all met in the garden and asked Tulip and Daisy to show them where they saw the figures. 

When they reached the spot Orchid saw something on the ground, it turned out to be seashells. They hurried in to show their parents what they had found. After hearing their description of the figures and explaining the seashells, the queen’s face turned as white as a sand dollar, “I know who these belong to and she has come back for repayment!” When the sisters asked who it was, their parents told them that the queen made a deal a long time ago with a powerful witch named Marissa. “I told her it was a big mistake, but she wouldn’t listen,” said the king. “I made a deal that when all my daughters were old enough to take care of themselves, I would go and be her head ballroom dancer for the rest of my life.” The sisters looked horrified and Tulip looked at her mother and the rest of her sisters saying, “we will not let them ruin this family, we will find a way to stop her and her band of minions.” All twelve girls looked determined to help even the smallest one, Lilac who was only five. The next morning all of the sisters rose early and set off to find the queen who they found in the breakfast room off the main hall. Tulip and Orchid spoke first with their plan: to find the shadow minions, discover her weakness and destroy all of them once and for all. They all agreed and rushed to tell the king. When the king had heard of their plan, he agreed but gave them a special weapon to use against the witch: a conch shell which had the power to trap any magical creature inside it. They all went upstairs to get ready for their adventure. A few hours later they all stood in the rose garden near where Daisy first saw the shadow creatures. The queen found the secret entrance near the arbor of roses, counted twelve times stepping on each shell in a certain order. The ground opened to reveal a staircase lit by torches in wall sconces. Upon reaching the bottom they found themselves in an enchanted world of glittering seashells and soft silver sand that led to a sinister looking lake. The lake surrounded a far off island that was home to a seashell castle with dark purple bricks. There were shadow creatures with golden tridents guarding the entrance of the castle. The queen told her daughters to follow her as she led the way across the shimmering sand for there was no sun in this underworld prison and the sand glowed on its own. As they approached the waters edge enough boats appeared to carry them across to the castle. These boats were made of shiny mahogany with golden fittings and golden tipped oars. When they reached the castle they went through the main entrance and were greeted by the head servant whose name was Maud. She led the group to a large chamber where the witch had her audience of court members. They were all dressed in muted colors of black, silver, gray, dark blue and purple. As the group came to the front of the chamber Marissa peered down at them with evil in her eyes. 

“So you got my warnings, dearie?” The queen nodded with a face that had an unreadable expression. With a snap of her fingers, Marissa sent servants rushing forward to lead the girls and the queen to their chambers to get ready for a ball later that night. After every detail to their gowns, hair, and jewels were seen to they headed to the grand ballroom.it had a dark feeling to it with heavy worn dark purple velvet curtains framing each of the floor length windows that overlooked a forest of silver trees, polished black marble floors, and a tarnished chandelier and wall sconces.  As the queen led them to the center of the ballroom, Marissa entered and took her place on her throne looking more ghastly but seeming to glow from within. 

The ball began and the sisters each had a dancing partner while the queen danced with Marissa’s son Prince Faben. As they danced Marissa seemed to glow brighter, sucking the energy from the dancers. As midnight drew near, they all went into the great dining hall for a midnight supper. After a few more dances the ball ended with a waltze. The girls retired but the queen stayed with Marissa. Tulip and Orchid couldn’t sleep so they stayed up whispering their different plans to each other to save the queen and defeat Marissa. The next day the girls were allowed a short walk in the silver forest. Daisy mentioned she had an idea on how to get rid of the henchmen, “We could use our hand mirrors to reflect the light off of the trees, blinding them and locking them in a room near the ballroom.” Tulip thought of this for a couple of seconds before asking, “How will we trap them all there are at least two dozen of them and only twelve of us?” Lilac spoke next, “Maybe we can get some of the servants to help us?” Near the end of their walk they still hadn’t figured out a good plan. Later that night before the ball began, Maud came in to help them get ready. 

She asked the girls if they would help her escape. Daisy asked her, “Why should we help you? You work for Marissa.” Maud looked afraid, fear darting in her eyes. “I am forced to work for Marissa because I am a lost princess. I used to come here with my father who was Marissa’s long lost love. One day Marissa got angry with my father and banished him from this world. He wasn’t allowed to take me because that was part of his punishment. I have worked for her ever since.” When she finished the girls had tears in their eyes. Lily the second youngest came forward, took Maud’s hand and said “Do you know how to defeat Marissa?” Maud looked at her and said, “She is very powerful and doesn’t let many people near her. But I did overhear that she promised to take Tulip as a bride for Prince Faben. Tulip felt all eyes turn towards her and she said, “Don’t look at me I didn’t know anything about this. The only one that could have know besides Marissa and Maud is mother.” They rushed to find the queen before the ball began. They found her in her chamber staring at herself in the mirror checking that everything was in its proper place. Daisy spoke first, “Mother is there something you want to explain?” The queen turned to them with a sigh and a weary look on her face. “I need to tell you about Marissa and the deal we made when Tulip was born. Tulip was deathly ill and might have died but I made a deal with Marissa to save Tulip but marry her to Prince Faben in return.” 

They all looked at the queen in surprise. Tulip stepped forward and asked her why she had lied to them all these years? The queen said she didn’t know and wanted to try and fix it before it became too late. They couldn’t speak about it anymore because the gong rang to announce the beginning of the ball. As Orchid sat down to rest at one of the tables set up on the far side of the ballroom, Maud came up to her and asked her if she would help her. Orchid said,”We need to know if you can find Marissa’s weakness and who your father is before we can help you.” “My father is King Gerald who rules Aslonia.” Orchid couldn’t believe what she was hearing because that meant that Maud was her long lost sister. Maud hurried away as Orchid sat in shock. Tulip saw Orchid’s distress and excused herself from the dance as she hurried to Orchid’s side. When she told Tulip what Maud had told her she was just as shocked. Tulip angrily said, “Then we need to break that deal with Marissa and destroy her.” In the end they found Marissa’s glass pendent that was the source of all her power, but not before destroying the castle. As the world started to crumble around them, Lilac took out the magic conch shell and blew three times. The queen, Maud, and all twelve sisters appeared back in the rose garden. Maud was reunited with the King and everyone lived happily ever after.

Gone Away by Gabrielle Wobrock

Why must they go away

Why must they leave us in pain

We see them wither away before our eyes

While we think of the person they used to be, we end up seeing a shell of their former selves

Trapped in My Own Overcast by Rachel Fry

Once again I’m trapped in my own overcast,

The sun has disappeared behind these clouds that won’t seem to pass.

The sky has cried for days upon days,

Trapping me within this dreary haze.

Because, despite my umbrella, I still end up soaked,

Chilled to the bone and dripping from the darkness thus evoked.

I search for shelter from the ongoing storm,

Having forgotten how it feels to be warm.

But alas, it is an endless stretch of nothingness,

Within me, the lightning cracks from pain and loneliness.

The thunder then erupts from my mouth,

As I question when everything went south.

The shrieking wind steals my breath and burns my lungs,

My hair whips around my face and to my sanity I now clung.

Then, all of the chaos around me comes to a halt,

When the rain and wind suddenly cease their assault.

As the storm disappears, the word around me begins to shine,

And I realize the sun was behind the clouds the entire time.

Leaving by Angela Maggioncalda

There is no way that adequately expresses the pain and anxiety I feel.

It’s been a long time. We’ve done so much. I truly thought this would never end.

Yet here I am. Trying to tell you through a cracking throat we need to move on. That I will not be your girlfriend.

You have dreams. You will renovate and innovate. You will invest and make progress.

I have projects. I will work in a school. I will impact lives daily.

We need to reach for our goals. To find ourselves. To move forward.

You will not be an ex to me. That is not a description of you. You are more than an ex.

You are extraordinarily kind and patient, exceptional in the dreams you wish to achieve, and extra in your storytelling.

I will not forget you. You were part of my story. But now we are both moving onto a new chapter.

Cup Status by Natalie B. Taylor

I’d like to talk to you about something that might seem strange

but I promise it’ll make sense after this word exchange

I’m simply here to inform you of your cup status

options include beaker, goblet, glass, flute, mug or chalice

whatever your preference i here to remind

each cup is ready to receive, hold and contain by its design

whichever one you choose is up to you

but while I have your attention, I wanted to take some time

to let you about mine, just a thing or two

you see my clay was plucked from the purest of lands

then hand crafted from the finest of motherly hands

I was painted by childhood with the most vibrant of colors

as a teen fired in a kiln with the deepest dolor’s

yet I rise out of the darkness like rebel with a cause

I now chose to embrace my design rather than find my flaws

as student cup status I had a purpose and it was to receive

I am appreciative of that journey but thank god! now I must leave

as I begin this transition cup filled high

I look back once more, shed a tear and say my good bye

one foot in front of the other, chin to the sky

I can proudly say I am the cup that will provide

So If anything there are a few things from this poem

I’d like for you to take to your car

One, understand that cups are givers or receivers

But also maybe two way streeters

Because just a cup was designed to be

Pouring is another of its capabilities

Last but not least and I cannot express enough

You cannot pour from an empty cup

Bonbon the Space Kitty by Gabrielle Wobrock

I seen this story that was really interesting and was featured in the New York Times. It was about how cats were adapted to certain situations: like cats going up into space. It was all about this cat called Bonbon and how he was selected by this company that deals with all kinds of animals and puts them into different scenarios. Anyway Bonbon was selected from 100 different Coon cats to go through space training at Cape Canaveral. He was put into this machine that spun him upside down, front, back, right, and left. This went on for about a half an hour before the tech guy told them that was enough. Bonbon got off and was really dizzy then he threw up on the man’s shoes. After several more tests, Bonbon was ready to go up into space, he even had a copilot named Mr. Jingles who was a light colored tabby with green eyes. Their mission was to find out what was on the dark side of the moon and possibly collect samples. Upon reaching their destination, Bonbon told Mr. Jingles to suit up and they both went out together. When you put two cats in space on the moon together they will have a blast jumping from cliff to cliff. After spending about two hours playing and collecting samples they returned to the ship where each of them had their own bowl of cream waiting for them. Soon after they finished the cream, Mr. Jingles took the controls and they headed back to Earth. When they returned home all the cats in the state were there to greet them and hail them as heros.

You Will Always Be Beautiful by Barbara Glover

The sun shone down

You peeked and poked your green shoot through

The rich brown soil

Uncoiling your long graceful neck

You sought its warming rays.

When rains came, you drew moisture

Inside you so you could grow, grow strong.

And strong you did grow.

Up, up and up shot your stem,

Reaching higher and higher

Trying to touch the sun.

Your petals exploded like great yellow Umbrellas

opening up and framing,

Your warm honey heart.

The sun called you throughout the day

You answered and danced, a dance full of life.

Your head turning

Always towards the sun, towards tomorrow.

It beckoned to you, like a sunny promise.

 

Life was good, you were alive.  Your world unfolded, before you.

Your own seedlings sprouted and were taking root

In your good soil, you’d carefully cultivated for them.

You knew they too would dance with the sun.

I went to bed, and the winds blew and the house shook.

In the morning, when I surveyed my garden,

All looked well, though a bit tossed for wear.

Then I stopped. My eyes spied you.

I screamed, “No, no! Not you!! How could this be?”

I saw you bent.  Your strong stem battered down. 

Strange things hung about you. 

You could not lift your head.

You no longer follow the sun or dance with its course.

Your strong yellow petals are greying now, drying up,

Cracking off. 

You falter and falter, closer you lean to the earth each day.

You were strong. You were young.

This should not be.

But even now my friend, Sunflower,

Golden one,

You are still beautiful. Your honey heart still glows.

Even as you fade - You will always be beautiful.

Untitled by Bri Van Reenen

untitled by Bri Van Reenen

i’m walking on a sidewalk

thinking of a friend

i’m sitting with a group

imagining its end

i’m talking all about him

hoping we will pretend 

while she’s driving down a street

shuffling through tunes

she’s talking at here family

not knowing what to do

as she thinks there in her bed

about no one else but you

i hope to cross her mind

and sometimes i do

but every wishful thought ends up

tainted with you

she utters my name

and fears she’s exposed

i hear that one word

and pray that she knows

perhaps i am unheard

or there’s just no more room

because all that she ever hears

are the whispers from you

the signs on the road

signatures on a page

places you won’t go

the words you’ll never say

things she’s afraid to feel

because all you see

is that she’s gay.

Recovery in Ten Parts by Jillian Law

Recovery In Ten Parts

1. Sleep will never be my friend again. I envy my friend who falls asleep first at a sleepover, so easily able to shut off her brain and ignore the sound of the TV. My brain can never quite unwind that easily. Even now, three years later, sleep and I are not friends.

2. I heard my mom talking to my dad the other day. She used the phrase “when she was sick” to explain something to my dad about me. It hit me right in the gut, that phrase. I never think of it like that. I didn’t know she did.

3. “When she was sick” implies that she is now better. Like anxiety and depression are colds you can treat with Aspirin, like I still don’t have trouble sleeping or feel like everything is too much some days. It makes it seem like it is in the past tense. My anxiety is not in the past tense. I wish it could be.

4. Some days, I unravel. I can’t sleep and I can’t think and I completely fall apart. Sometimes, it’s more than one day.

5. I saw a movie once where a girl stood on top of a mountain and screamed. Just screamed out her pain and her frustration and her fear. I don’t live near a mountain. I have to settle for a pillow stuffed in my mouth to muffle the screams. Somehow, this isn’t nearly as satisfying.

6. The only thing worse than unraveling is watching people you love unravel. It’s worse than going through your own shit. It’s like watching a car accident you’ve suffered through happen in front of you. You know exactly how to steer the wheel to avoid the collision, but you’re not allowed to drive. You can only watch from your car.

7. I remember, as out of it as I was, begging my mom not to put me in a hospital. I was afraid to go see a doctor because that was what I thought would happen. She convinced me otherwise. Three years later, visiting my dad in the psychiatric ward at Beaumont, I understood why I was so scared.

8. Sometimes, I am endlessly tired. Not just sleep-deprived tired. I am tired of school and tired of hoping and tired of dragging my body around from place to place like any of it matters. Sometimes, I am tired, but I continue on anyways. What else can I do? There is not shortcut to where I want to be.

9. The side of my brain ruled by anxiety tells me, “Give up.” It says, “You will never get where you want to go.” The side of my ruled by depression tells me, “You are worthless, and you are a waste of space. No one really likes you.” I listen sometimes, weighing these opinions, but usually I just tell these sides of my brain, “Fuck you. I have things to do.”

10. When I can’t find big joy in my life, I collect the small ones. I store them up in my head like snapshots. My nephew’s toothless baby smile. Singing thank u, next in the car with two of my best friends, hopelessly out of pitch. Group chats. Movie nights. I survive on the small joys, and I keep hoping for the big ones.

Another Angel by Rachel Fry

Heaven’s claimed another angel.

Another friend left for the sky,

But never lost because he’ll always be by your side.

Urging you to once more carry on,

Now that he’s gone on to a new dawn.

Walking down the golden first street,

For he has God and Caroline to greet.

To You by Rachel Fry

To tell you the truth you are my friend above all else,

But you must know these feelings that developed can only be blamed on ourselves.

You see, you didn’t draw my eye upon first glance,

But it was the laughs, the smiles that drew us into this dance.

It was the way that we talked and the way that you listened

That I began to notice the way your eyes glistened.

It was the way we banter, neither ever admitting defeat

That I noticed the red on your cheeks and my heart skipped a beat.

I cannot believe how blind I was for so long,

Perhaps it was the unseen transition that made me hope we belonged.

And maybe that it when you noticed your feelings had changed,

From friends to something neither of us could or would explain.

Because I wanted you and I’m certain you wanted me too,

But then my head interfered saying this situation was misconstrued.

I saw the jealousy in your eyes and in your words when I went out with him.

However, I blame you for the ocean of confused I was left to swim in.

You see, if you wanted me, why were you with her?

Why would you let the line of friendship blur?

I was struggling to push down the feelings sparked in my chest,

Confused and hurt that you started this and then left.

Did you chose her because she was comfortable and safe?

Were you too scared of hurting her that it was me you wouldn’t face?

So I drew the line unable to feel like something and nothing,

Leaving my words and distance to do the crushing.

I saw you once again and my heart still fluttered,

But the distance left my head less cluttered.

While I miss your friendship most of all,

Perhaps separating ourselves truly was the best call.

To My Friends (Who Deserve All the Love Poems) by Jillian Law

To Grace, my oldest friend

We meet playing softball as kids

I stuck with softball a lot longer than I would have without you

I’ve stuck with a lot of things because of you

Since this is a love poem, here are a few things I love about you

You are freakishly smart but never advertise it

You constantly introduce me to new and interesting things

You slay like Buffy but have a heart as big as Willow’s

You are fundamentally the person you have always been, which is a rare and beautiful thing

To Caroline, the other third of our trio

You are brightness and laughter and fun

When I think of you, I think of sleepovers watching HSM 3 and bad karaoke and the night we couldn’t get into OLV and saw Prom instead

You make me laugh, and you keep me sane

What do I love about you?

You are a better listener than anyone I know.

You never stop trying to make me have new experiences

You are the best cheerleader a friend could have

To G, my best friend in high school

On paper, we don’t make sense

You hunt and drive a truck, I write and wear red lipstick

But we did make sense

We don’t talk much these days, busy lives and all,

But I know that you always have my back

G, you are generous and warm without ever thinking about it

When I needed a ride, you drove me around

When I had a nervous breakdown, you came home

Thank you for your hugs and your kindness and for always answering the phone

To Rachel, or Senator Wagner as you will always be in my contacts

Basically, we became friends in Christian Morality because we were part of the small groups of people

(Really just you, G, Theresa, and me)

With morals

That first judgement hasn’t steered me wrong

For years, you kept us together: sleepovers, pool parties, game nights…

Even though you’ve moved, I think we’ll still stay together

Senator, I admire your drive

You are fiercely intelligent and unapologetically ambitious

Even though we will never agree politically, I respect the way you stand by what you believe and continue to grow and learn

Whatever you end up doing in life, I know you will pursue it with passion and good intentions

To Irese, who I knew in high school but not well

We were in the same circles, but we didn’t become friends until I started driving you home from Rachel’s

Our friendship was forged in Lola, on highways and in your driveway

Now, I think, how were we never friends before?

What would I do without our driveway conversations?

Without your text messages arguing about Gilmore Girls or bemoaning Bradley Cooper’s Oscar chances?

Without having you to talk at movies with?

Without you to raise me up, talk me off a ledge, and make me think?

To Marwah and Sarah, my Madonna girls

To Marwah, my mom friend, who does her best to keep me alive

To Sarah, my doppleganger, my favorite nerd

We met through the Writing Center (thank you, Frances), and you guys continue to be one of my favorite things about work

Thank you, ladies, for constantly hyping me up

For making me laugh always

For our group chat and that trip to the DIA where we almost got kicked out because Marwah touched the art

For your mom tendencies and nerdy jokes and strong hugs

And to all my friends, past and present

That I didn’t have time to mention

Thank you

I love you

If I had more pages, I would mention each and every one of you

You all deserve love poems